In the beginning...

In the beginning…

‘One single person realized he existed within TOB.’

This single person, who single-handedly pushed all the way through the entrance-revolving door and who independently (And by ‘independently’ I mean completely and utterly alone) came to the conclusion that he was the first to enter and exist within TOB.

Now this extremely etreme person had a name. The most fabulously wonderfully enchanting name anyone in TOB had ever come across! BILL!!! Bill was his name! His name was Bill.

Mind you this is not the same Bill as my friend Bill. It is only a coincidence that my friend and ‘the one single person that realized he existed within TOB’ have the same name. In fact, many people that exist within TOB have the name Bill. One reason being that there is a lot of people that live there… so it should not surprise anyone that some would have the same name and that some might even share their names with ‘the one single person to realize his existance inside of TOB’. Another reason being that Bill is an extremely common name considering its easy spelling and pronounciation.

So this Bill (the first Bill... the one that is not my friend. Mind you i would have probably loved to meet Bill and become his friend even though i already have a friend by that name. It was slightly impossible considering that Bill has already come and gone in TOB and that we would probably have not gotten along anyways.) well... he started the whole stapling extravaganza.

Yes... he was the first stapler as well.

Now once Bill entered into TOB through the entrance-revolving door he noticed that he could not get out. This was certainly a difficult thing for Bill to understand because he was clearly inside of TOB and there WAS an outside. The fact of the matter was that no matter what Bill tried to do he just could not manage to escape TOB. He knew that he came in somehow though he couldn't quite remember from where he came in from... but he knew it was through the entrance-revolving door on the first floor.

So yes... Bill accepted the fact that he was stuck inside of TOB and that the only way out was on the top floor which he could not actually find which stopped him from exiting the TOB through the exit-revolving door.

This left Bill in quite the perdicament. He knew and accepted the fact that he was not leaving TOB anytime soon but could not understand why he was there and what he could do to distract him from the ever painful thoughts of the unknown both within and outside of TOB.

Bill looked around so that he may find some form of distraction to distract him. And then something FABULOUS happened...

He saw a stapler.

He picked it up with his right hand... and then something even MORE FABULOUS happened...

He saw some paper and pick that up with his left.

And so began stapling.

Meet me... Fred McFab.

Freddy J trying to bend. Staplers can't bend very well. That's why I am a hole-puncher.

Welcome to TOB. Have you met the stapler Bill?

I am in an office building. I don't know why. I came here for something. I know I did. DAMMIT! I cannot seem to remember anything at all, yet here I am. I Frederick J. McFabulous is stuck inside this office building.
Yes. I am stuck.
Trapped even. I came through one of those revolving doors. But they are the ones that only let you enter and not exit because of the metal bars that block you from going the entire way around.

TRUST ME.

You can't get out. Not that way anyways. So ya, here I am. Stuck in an office building. There are certainly a lot of people here. I've been here for a while actually. (And if you want to know what i mean by a while... i mean 19 years, 5 months, 17 days and I don't really care how many hours.) I found out a lot about this place. One being the name of the building.
Funny story actually...

I met Bill. Bill told me the name. HA!

It's called 'The Office Building'. But everyone just calls it 'TOB'. So ya... Bill and I are friends. He's ok I guess. Bill staples. Here in TOB stapling is a really respected position. (Yes there are positions... but I would like to think of them as daily activities that one goes though to help ignore the fact that we are all stuck in TOB. But not many people understand that so lets just think of them as positions or jobs. CAREERS is a funny word!)

So Bill is a stapler

(Not in the literal sense of course. Bill doesn't take on the physical form of a stapler. Though if he did I may not be his friend. One reason being I would have not been able to introduce myself because he would lack a mouth to communicate with me. Actually he would not be able to introduce himself. I would certainly have had no problems introducing myself to him. Unless you consider the hesitant feeling one might experience when introducing oneself to a stapler.)

I don't know if he likes stapling. He doesn't say much about it. He started stapling a while ago so I suppose he does. When I asked why he staples he said it's because everyone else was doing it and the 'Grande Stapler' (A very respected Stapler) taught him how to properly staple. So Bill staples.

I for one do not staple. I hole-punch.

I don't know many other people in TOB that hole-punch. In fact, as of this very moment right now, I am the only hole-puncher I know of. TOB is a big place. There are probably more like me but there are so many staplers around that I have yet to come across a hole-puncher like myself.

Why hole-punch?

Why not? Actually, there is a reason... I am not a stapler... and if I cannot be a stapler like everyone else the only other option I could think of was to hole-punch.

That was a lie. I lie a lot. Right after I lie I tend to tell everyone that what I just said was a lie. So I don't know why I even bother.

There is another option. There is another revolving door. But instead of it being on the bottom floor at the front of TOB where everyone who is here today came in it is on the top floor closer to the back right. And by right I mean left. I get those mixed up all the time. I don't know what floor it is on. I know it is the top floor because that is where everyone thinks it is; therefore it is the truth. Nobody knows the floor number though. Somewhere up really high. Which makes sense considering it is the top floor, and this is a high building.

(It is a high building because everyone agrees it a high building because nobody thinks it ISN'T a high building.)

So no one has seen the revolving door. But it does exist on the top floor closer to the back right or left depending on when you ask me. Bill is scared of the revolving door. The exiting one. He actually doesn't recall the door that he came through on the way in. Which is strange. Because I don't either. But I know there was a revolving entrance door. I have scars to prove it.

'Stupid metal revolving door exiting the entrance door stoppers!'

So the exiting revolving door only lets you exit. You cannot come back in. One because if you were to walk through the door you would fall down to the bottom floor of TOB and be unable to scale the very non-grippy vertical walls to get back up to the top floor of the building and in through the exit-revolving door. Another reason being that much like how the entrance-revolving door had the metal bars to stop one from exiting through that door once they entered, the exit-revolving door also has bars that stop one from entering. So to actually make it back through the exit-revolving door would be quite a challenge.

Plus, the idea of entering a clearing labeled 'EXIT-REVOLVING DOOR' can't help but make one ponder why anyone would want to enter an exit door.

And yes. The enter and exit doors are both labeled. Though no one can remember what the labels look like. We all agree that the entrance-revolving door says 'ENTRANCE-REVOLVING DOOR' and the exit-revolving door is labeled in similar font and size to the entrance-revolving door, 'EXIT-REVOLVING DOOR'. Both names can be seen in Bold lettering above the doors. They glow neon actually. The entrance-revolving door glows green while the exit-revolving door glows red. I don't really know why. And I don't think anyone has ever questioned the colour. So no one has reason to care.

So yes. There is another option rather than being a stapler or even the not so common hole-puncher. If you can find the top floor you can exit throught the exit-revolving door.

One does not need to staple once one is outside of TOB. You can continue stapling if you desire. But there is clearly no real point to stapling once you are out.

Office buildings are for stapling.

Outside of office buildings are for other non-stapling activities.

.So here begins the story of the time I spent in TOB. The Office Building. I need to go over when I became a hole-puncher and how I ended becoming friends with Bill... among other things of course. But yes. This is the Beginning.

The End.